Convention Etiquette Tips for meeting your favorite Celebrity Guest (part 1)

I have worked (read:volunteered) many a convention dealing with guests and Guests alike, and most of the time it is awesome. I keep lines maintained, entertain myself by entertaining crowds, and spend the majority of the convention with my back to the guests and really only ever interact with the handlers, who have the most thankless job (in my opinion) of the entire con. You should thank them for what they do when you hand them your money before going into raptures of delight over the Talent. They deserve it. Seriously.

Getting back to topic, every convention has it's rules and regs and every Guest has their quirks. Respect that. These people are actually living, breathing human beings who deserve your respect and understanding. They are allowed to have bad days, bad moments, they are allowed to take an unscheduled break to go to the bathroom or grab some food or just be in a silent, empty space for two minutes to ground themselves before coming back out to see you all. They are people like you and me, they just have a seemingly glamorous job.

So! With that in mind, let's talk about some proper con behavior!

A lot of people go to conventions to meet celebrities. That's great! They are awesome people who love their fan base and you should definitely go hit them up and say hey and buy an autograph.

Note that I said buy.

Celebrities do convention circles to meet fans, yes, but they also need to be able to pay their managers, handlers, drivers, the hotel and for airfare. That means you should be courteous and not ask for free things, because the more free things they give out, the less conventions they will be able to afford. That means the other people, who love this person just as much as you do, won't be able to meet their hero. It's pretty selfish of you to do that. Don't be that guy.

"I know they said this wouldn't happen, but I'm going to ask anyway. I mean, what could it hurt?"

Let's start with high fives, fist bumps, and handshakes, shall we? If someone working the line says so-and-so doesn't do these things, believe them. Not only have they told you, they've told everyone else in line as well and all of those people have decided to ask that very same question. So they go up, they get told no, they try to wheedle it out of someone anyhow, get turned down, and have wasted a minute or two of everyone else's time.

I know what you're thinking, two minutes? That's nothing! Only the fifty people ahead of you in line did the same thing. So did the 2 hundred behind you, despite constant announcements that these things would not be happening! Suddenly we have killed 4 hours on useless questions that everyone already knew the answers to! That is at least 100 more people who could have gotten to see their hero if you hadn't been such a jackass.

On top of that, there are reasons people say no to hand shakes, high fives, fist bumps, pinky hooks, and the like. Sometimes it is a totally understandable fear of con crud and the inability to trust that every person who comes up drooling like a slavering dog to meet the character of their dreams has actually been washing their hands. Or even bathing. Conventions are rife with germs and awkward smells you hope to every god in existence aren't coming from you. The guests aren't any different, and them getting sick could mess up a shooting schedule they are contractually obligated to meet. Do you want to be the person who ruins the day of everyone on your favorite show because one of the main characters couldn't go in? Do you!?

And, as if that explanation and the fact that they said no and are allowed their bodily autonomy the same as everyone else weren't enough, sometimes it is physical. A lot of our older guests have arthritis. They already hurt signing your autographs, but they deal with it because they support and appreciate their fans. However people don't always know how strong they are or how tightly they are gripping someone's hand in the midst of their mind blowing excitement, and that is physically painful. So if someone says no to hand shakes or high fives, or any other iteration your smart ass brain wants to make up in an effort to touch the celeb of your dreams, remember that makes you a jackass, not a comedian.

"But I wanted it personalized!"

Yeah, that's great, but time constraints, people! They want to meet as many people as they can in a very short window of time and that means they are often only signing their names, or signing a "to so-and-so, all the best, ~Special Person!" and leaving it at that. They won't write a letter for you, they simply don't have time time. Sometimes, yes, they do have time and they still won't do more than sign just their names. Let's go back to that Arthritis thing. Some of our favorite guests are older. They shaped our childhood, made us change careers, we have children (Furry and fleshy) named for them or their characters! They are older and their hands hurt. They have arthritis. Stop getting upset that they are trying to take care of themselves. That makes you a jerk. Again, don't be that guy! With that being said, it's been a pleasure, Stevie

Keep your dick in your pants, not on your phone.

Dear Sir,

Your penis is not something that I wanted to look it. Having viewed it briefly, sadly, I can't unsee it as I can't scrub my brain. As such please note that I am sending a complaint, and also putting this picture on 4chan, as well as certain subforums of reddit. I realize that you might not like this, however, as all I have is your penis and your handle, it's not like someone you know will see it. That should be okay, since you are sending it out to strangers anyhow.

Thank you for your time,

Stevie

Unsolicited dick pics are gross. It is rude, unneeded, and reeks of desperation that you are, for some reason, attempting to project onto women you do not know. When we tell you not to do that, usually politely as most women aren't actually sure how to react when it happens, you call us foul names and attempt to throw all of the blame on us because you are now ashamed that you have been turned down. Dude, you didn't even buy us a drink! Why the hell do we want to look at your appendages? The male sexual organs are not pretty. They are wrinkled and hairy and sweaty and not something we want to look at before we've had a chance to get to know someone well enough that we can forgive them the often horrifying sight that will (hopefully) eventually lead to happy fun times.

Keep it in your pants, not on your phone.

Just because you have some kind of self shame going on that you don't know how to deal with, doesn't mean you should be sending out pictures of your dick to women to try and get sex. It also doesn't mean you should send out pictures of your dick in order to get someone to turn you down so that you can work out some inner rage on the poor women you attacked with a picture of your penis. The number of times I have seen women so confused and worried after a man has sent an unsolicited picture of his genitalia because he has then spent far too much time in a tirade against her and all those of her sex for denying him what he seems to think is his unalienable right to wave around his dick like he's marking territory is ridiculous. We are allowed to say no. We are allowed to decided if, when, and how we would prefer our sexual encounters to go. It's one of the great things about this country.

Also, calling someone a lesbian because she isn't interested in you isn't insulting to her, it just further proves how much of an idiot you are.

Relationships are hard, especially these days with the internet being such a huge part of our society. Why make it harder for yourself by acting like a sexual predator? That is what you are doing by sending out these unsolicited pictures, by the way. You are attacking people with sexual images, forcing them to look at things they do not want to see. When we open a message and see a penis, that is rude, not funny. We don't know you, and if the first thing you do is shove your penis at us like a proud toddler, we don't want to know you.

You know what's worse than unsolicited dick pics, though? Being told that someone is going to rape the shit out of you because you don't find them attractive. Oh yeah, hilarious. Especially online where you've got anonymity. Well guess what? Your threats freak me out, yeah, but they even more than that they piss me off. I report every single person I see who threatens that, even when they aren't threatening me. Want to know why? Here, let me give you some statistics straight from the CDC.

32,447,000 women reported unwanted sexual contact. Reread that statistic again. I hope you are horrified by that number, because what it doesn't say in that bullet point is that this number occurred over a single year. 32,447,000 women reported unwanted sexual contact in the Unites States over a 12 month period of time.

One in 6 women (16.2%) and 1 in 19 men (5.2%) in the United States have experienced stalking victimization at some point during their lifetime in which they felt very fearful or believed that they or someone close to them would be harmed or killed. That's why it's a crime. So when you sit there and cyber stalk so you can freak people out? Remember it's illegal and should I be the one you target, you will be reported to every agency I can think of and I will cite every law, reg, and rule you are breaking. Let's take a step further, though. Maybe you just wanted to scare someone, didn't expect to be called out on it. Here is why you are being called out on it.

Nearly 1 in 5 women (18.3%) and 1 in 71 men (1.4%) in the United States have been raped at some time in their lives, including completed forced penetration,attempted forced penetration, or alcohol/drug facilitated completed penetration. One in five. Think of all your female relatives and then add that statistic to them. Put faces of people you know on those numbers and tell me you aren't suddenly horrified.

One percent, or approximately 1.3 million women, reported being raped by any perpetrator in the 12 months prior to taking the survey And people, that's the US alone! One point three MILLION. That number is staggering. It should shock you. It should appall you. This is why women are scared. This is why they get upset and demand you stop saying such heinous, atrocious things.

Approximately 1 in 20 women and men (5.6% and 5.3%, respectively) experienced sexual violence victimization other than rape by any perpetrator in the 12 months prior to taking the survey. Violence is real. Your threats? Are violence. Your sending unwarranted pictures is harassment. These things aren't something you hear about and can dismiss, because whether you know it or not, these things are happening to people you know. And you? You are helping make it easier for people to ignore it.

So, on that note I'm going to leave you. If you see someone threatening someone else online, call them out. Embarrass the shit out of them and make them wish they had kept their mouths shut and their fingers still on that keyboard. This is not okay behavior and as they CDC states An important part of any response to sexual violence, stalking, and intimate partner violence is to hold perpetrators accountable. Culpability, people. It's a thing, even if it's online.

So let's do something about it, shall we?

Stevie

Dear GamerGate, I Am #NotYourShield

So I was explaining GamerGate to my mom last night and she responds with "What you are saying is terrorist behavior as defined by Homeland Security, why aren't they involved?" And it's been bugging me all day. Let's look at a few definitions, shall we?

According to google;

ter·ror·ism

ˈterəˌrizəmt

noun

the use of violence and intimidation in the pursuit of political aims.

Okay, fairly straightforward, right? Right now threats of violence and out right intimidation are being used in an anti-feminism effort in the gaming industry.

According to the FBI;

"Domestic terrorism" means activities with the following three characteristics:

Involve acts dangerous to human life that violate federal or state law;

Appear intended (i) to intimidate or coerce a civilian population; (ii) to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion; or (iii) to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination. or kidnapping; and occur primarily within the territorial jurisdiction of the U.S.

Okay, also pretty straightforward. GamerGate is using intimidation to coerce female gamers into giving up their livelihood and their stance on feminism in gaming and this is clearly occurring primarily within the US, as evidenced by the people being targeted residing here.

Supposedly the Department of Homeland Security deals with threats like the one toward Anita Sarkeesian and the USU lecture she was supposed to give, but I have yet to find any information regarding their involvement. The FBI is apparently involved with those threats as well as those against Brianna Wu, whom is no longer safe in her own home due to intense threats of violence and death. Threats that not only target Brianna herself, but her friends, her loved ones, and her future children. Hopefully they find the sick people doing the threatening and deal with them to the full extent of the law.

I've been seeing arguments on both sides and I thought I'd stay out of it as I, myself, am not a game maker, and I don't often play video games. Here's the problem with that, though; The more we ignore things, the more we put our heads under our pillows and pretend nothing can touch us if we can't see us, the more we are perpetuating the problem. We who look on it and shake our heads and say "too bad" and do not stand up for what is right.

Do you know what unlawful communication is? How about stalking? Both of those happened to women I admire and respect, and yet people seem to not being taking it seriously. In fact, more people glommed onto this GamerGate idea. It was as though the mere whisper of feminist happenings made all those against equality stand up and say "not on my watch!" as though they actually knew what was going on. It was incredibly disheartening. Do you know that you are telling your daughters and sisters and mothers that if they think for themselves, stand up for themselves, or ask to be treated fairly, they are opening themselves up to threats of violence and death? Further, you are telling them you believe they deserve it.

Slander, even on the internet, is still illegal as well. That is what the bilious extolling of Zoe Quinn's ex-boyfriend is, for those interested. Slander. Not just of her, but of the journalist in question as well. Sadly we still live in a world where a man accused of sleeping with a woman is quietly clapped on the back for a job well done, so he was mostly untouched by the issue. Zoe Quinn, however, was not so lucky as she has the misfortune of owning ovaries. While some say the issue has been run into the ground, I disagree. I'm not sure it will ever be run into the ground. Not when this disgustingly misogynistic behavior is not only continuing, but spreading like a California wildfire fueled by uninformed hate.

Brianna Wu was targeted as well. She has been a woman I've admired for some time, and GamerGate made me realize she is so much more wonderful than I'd ever suspected. Today she wrote a blog explaining how It Happened To Me on XO Jane, part of a larger group of articles regarding the abuse women deal with daily that I sincerely hope everyone takes the time to read. This happened to Wu while we, the Geek Community, watched.

There are sadly two sides to this issue; you are with GamerGate, or you are against GamerGate. Usually I say there are at least three sides, but this is one of those instances where staying quiet and pretending you don't see it means you are giving them more fuel for the fire because obviously we don't agree with the feminists, the equalists, and those who just believe in plain old human decency.

They threatened the wrong woman this time. I am the Godzilla of bitches. I have a backbone of pure adamantium, and I’m sick of seeing them abuse my friends. -- Brianna Wu

I am an Equalist. I do not believe in abusive tactics. I do not agree with GamerGate.

I do think some people involved with GamerGate joined the movement for what it was pretending to be. I believe that sometimes people go too far in an effort to make all things fair instead of thinking about the people they already have who are suddenly being told they no longer matter. I think we need to work on understanding boundaries and talking calmly about things instead of just throwing out hashtags and claiming anyone that doesn't also post that hashtag is evil incarnate. I do not agree with GamerGate because of it's origins and the things some of it's members are doing. However, that being said, I understand why #NotYourShield is being bandied about and sometimes I even agree with it.

#stopgamergate #socialjusticerogue

Dear GamerGate, I am #NotYourShield, and my silence can no longer be used as a weapon.

Stevie

Be A Geek, Not A Dick

This weekend was Geek Girl Con, a convention I always look forward to. It's not actually all about the girls, it's more about promoting inclusion for geekdom. We want a place where it's okay if you don't know how to to play a game, or if you don't read that comic, or know who those artists are. We are happy to teach you, to include you, to invite you in to our world and maybe create a fellow fan through our efforts. That is how it seems to be in my eyes, anyhow.

I was the Special Agent in charge of panel room LL2, along with fellow SA, Dieter, who was a darling and an incredibly, unflappably, calm port in the storm of my chaotic nature. Apparently I am that rare breed of nerd, the aggressive type. I don't even mean to be most of the time. I just have bitchy resting face and "you're an idiot" thinking face. I'm usually not thinking that people speaking with me are idiots or feeling particularly bitchy while contemplating sleep. I get that it can come across that way, though. Anyway, Dieter has pleasantly understanding resting face, so it was good to having him around. Especially as I cannot sit still for more than three minutes before I start to fidget. He's a good egg. I probably drove him nuts.

Onward, before I go off on another tangent! (you guys know you like them, though)

There were a lot of really interesting panels going on all weekend on a wide variety of topics, but the ones I was most interested in were the ones discussing harassment and exclusionary behavior. If you read my last post, My Fellow Geeks, then you know that this is kind of a big deal for me. It's a topic I feel strongly about for many reasons, some of which are incredibly personal. The non-personal reasons are simply because I am an Equalist at heart. No one group of people deserve more or less than any other group of people, extremists of any sort obviously being the exception.

So let's discuss some of the exclusionary things that I have dealt with and seen over the years, shall we? (By discuss, I really mean you all get to read what I write.)

I love being a geek and I love being a nerd, they are both properties of myself that I am rather proud of. I have been told they are not the same thing by many people who seem to be angry when I say I am both. I am actually aware that a geek and a nerd are different, so I'm not sure why so many people feel the need to explain it to me. I have also been told you have to be one or the other, which makes absolutely zero sense to me since the two overlap so very much. This is my first instance of exclusionary behavior. A nerd, by definition, is a single minded expert in a particular technical field. I am a fashion nerd. If you think fashion isn't technical, I'd like you to go attempt pin tuck pleats, a hidden zipper, or to make your own pattern for a jacket. It is not an easy task. Most cosplayers are nerds. The amount of detail they put into their costumes is incredible, the techniques they use to put together their costumes is even more so. Being a nerd doesn't mean you have to be involved in the sciences (though I would like to point out that I do go to school for nursing before I realized I did not have the patience or demeanor that was needed. I had a terrible bedside manner.) it means you have to be involved fully in something that requires concentration and effort. If there is something I don't know about fashion or sewing, I find someone who does know it and I learn it. I am a nerd.

[I would add an image here about them but most of the diagrams include words that irritate me and I am too lazy at the moment to make my own!]

A geek, as defined by urban dictionary (this is my favorite definition as it is the most flattering,) is a person who has excessive enthusiasm for and some expertise about a specialized subject or activity. I can safely say I have excessive enthusiasm for all kinds of things. These things include books retelling fairy tales, music, movies, cartoons, Wonder Woman, Shakespeare, Monopoly, all things Joss Whedon, obstacle course races, fashion, costume designers, musicals, Disney Cartoons, and Deadpool. I kind of want to repeat Deadpool a few times, just so everyone understands the crazy love I have for that character and all his madness. I am drawn to the chaotic characters, possibly because they remind me a bit of myself, and because they are incredibly fun. I much prefer the unexpected plot twists. My mother has a rule that I am not allowed to tell anyone who I think the killer/bad guy is in a film the first time we watch it, which is hard because the rest of them are allowed to comment and debate (unless it's intense, if it's intense we need to pay attention.) but I have to stay silent because I am too good at guessing the killers and plot twists. I think it's because of my odd ability to see the plot unfold in my brain that I like the chaotic characters, I can't guess what will happen next and it excites me, it draws me in. Though, even more than his chaotic nature, I think I like Deadpool's one liners the best. So I am a Nerdy Geek (A Geeky Nerd?) and I am proud of it. My interests are varied and interesting, some of them have a bit of overlap, some of them don't. Please stop asking me (or anyone else) to be one and not the other.

"You can't be here, you aren't a real fan!" Sometimes I'm not a fan. This is sometimes due to my just never having met anyone else into it, never having had the chance to try it out, or because I simply haven't heard of it before. Guess what, not everyone is at the con for the same reason you are. Instead of telling them to go away and being general butt about it, how about you ask them why they aren't a fan. How about you tell them about why you love [insert fandom here] so much. Invite them into your fandom! You know how you got new fans? By not chasing them away. If they aren't interested in it because they just aren't interested in it, this is not a bad thing, there is no reason to be afraid of or lash out at this person. I am not much of a video gamer. This isn't because I dislike it necessarily, though I do get bored after about half an hour, (except with Deadpool because I have an obsession,) however the biggest reason I stopped is because of how people treated me if I didn't like the video games they did or even if I liked a game they did like. It is a ridiculous double standard, and maybe the problem was that I made the "mistake" pof admitting that I am a female on the internet during a campaign, but you know what? I will never be ashamed of the fact that I am a female. I happen to enjoy being female. However, the passable enjoyment of video games is not so interesting that I feel the need to defend myself for playing.

Bronies. Holy hullabaloo, Bronies. Why the negativity? Some of the kindest, sweetest people I know are Bronies and Pegasisters. I don't understand the stigma that is involved with being a fan of MLP: Friendship is Magic. It's right in the name! It is a cartoon that is all about loving and accepting people for who you are. How is watching My Little Pony really any different than watching Sponge Bob or Justice League or Avatar (TLAB or TLOK) or Phinneas and Ferb? I freaking LOVE Phinneas and Ferb, I keep hoping my dog, Yoda, is actually Agent Y. He's a snarky little dude, I'd believe it. Back to MLP fans, if they love something harmless and gain joy from it, why tell them they shouldn't be allowed to watch it? Why tell them they shouldn't admit that they love it? It's no different than when I am told that I am into comics because it gets me attention. That I only go to conventions to be a sex symbol, that I can't play video games because I have breasts, that I will cheat in RPGs and have all the boys help me, that I have to be a healer or a sorceress because of my uterus.

FYI - I go to conventions because I like to volunteer at them. I like to watch from behind the scenes and see the excitement of people when they see something they cannot contain their excitement over. I love it when people lose their shit in a positive way.

Homestuck confuses me. I think it's mostly because people keep trying to explain parts from the middle and it's all this convoluted mess of ideas and time travel and I'm my own grandpa and I really just need to read it from the start to understand it, I think. Though I have die hard friends who still don't understand it, they love it anyhow. They tend to pat me on the head and tell me to go watch Doctor Who. I cannot say that out loud at most conventions without some stranger becoming aggressively offended by my ambivalence, though. I did not put your literal kitten in a blender (I promise I only do that with cards portraying kittens with names like Borris and Mittens) so you have no reason to suddenly hate me! I don't know you, if you love Homestuck that much, tell me why, tell me what makes you think it is the be all and end all of internet comics! Maybe it will change me mind, you wont know if you don't ask. I am incredibly susceptible to passionate geekery, it's what got me into Doctor Who!

Stop yelling at me and say something that will change my mind.

This weekend I had someone change my mind about the Destiel pairing. I have considered squicky and odd for quite some time because, in my mind, Castiel being an Angel who is borrowing an obviously straight man's body, a man who loves his wife and children with all his heart, if he were to have sex with Dean, he would be breaking that ttrust. Castiel would, in essence, be raping Jimmy Novak. That is, to me, disgusting on so many levels I can't even begin to explain. Someone told me that he was into it and I explained why I found it squicky, and he asked me how far along in the series I am (fifth season) and then asked if he could give me a couple of spoilers that would explain to me why it wasn't that bad. [spoiler alert!] Cas and Jimmy are destroyed and brought back and Cas basically comes back in the mortal form of Jimmy, it is his body. If it's Cas's body, fine, do as you will, fans!

We all need to keep an open mind, we need to invite people into our fandoms, explain why we love them. We need to listen to people when they are passionate about their fandoms! We need to have debates, not arguments, we need to talk, not yell. There are no fake geeks, there are simply people who may not be as big a fan as you, and people who haven't yet discovered they are fans. We need to give these people room to get into our world. We need to not be those people that used to pick on us as children because we didn't like what they did.

Change someones mind, don't attack them for being different.

Stevie

My Fellow Geeks!

Let us try something in the next few cons we visit, shall we? Let's have each others backs. If you see someone looking uncomfortable and asking someone to leave them alone, step in. Step right on up and ask them how their day is, how they like the weather, if they know they are harassing someone.

Let's not look at someone's costume and think "Dude, I'm gonna go slap their ass!" Instead, let's politely say "that is an amazing costume!" And I say this for both men and women, because I have seen girls get incredibly handsy with men, it is a problem no matter when sex you are. Don't touch them if you don't know them. It's rude and often makes people uncomfortable.

"But they want to be touched, look how they are dressed!" No, chances are they are dressed like that because it makes them feel strong and powerful for a weekend, they get to be the person they looked up to for years. They are dressed up in an achingly screen accurate costume that shows that much skin because the artist wanted it that way. There is nothing wrong with that. Sure, some people dress skimpy because it gets them attention, but guess what, not everyone!

Ladies, stop trying to pet Superman when you realize those are his real muscles under that spandex. Gentlemen, stop trying to snuggle your face into Black Canary's breasts when you want a picture with her. Stop asking if the Steam Punk guys are stuffing their cod pieces, stop asking for proof of what's under the kilts, stop saying people are asking for these reactions. Rise up, be above these kinds of actions!

Let's not just walk past this sort of thing when we see it. Let's stop, walk up to the person perpetrating it, and ask if they have found our Lord and Savior, Cthulu. Let's make them feel awkward and make them want to walk away from the victim they targeted, and make no mistake, this person is a victim. While you are being awkwardly heroic, have your friend go find a volunteer or someone in security to come have a talk with that person you are now being incredibly familiar with, and let them explain what proper con etiquette is. I do 6+ comic conventions a year and every one of them has close to the same policy. If you are going to act like a fool, they are going to pull your badge. They have to know what is going on, though, and most people don't report it.

We need to police our own, guys. Geeks need to stand together, because who else is going to stand up for us? If someone doesn't understand how you are supposed to act at a convention, explain it to them. You shouldn't need signs posted on every wall, you shouldn't need to have the rules printed on the back of your badge, you shouldn't need someone to tell you to play nice with the other kids on the playground; you should know how to act like a decent human being.

This post came about because of a thread on Facebook regarding harassment signage at NYCC. I love that the signs are out and people can see them. We do the same at ECCC and RCCC and most others. We don't have those signs at Dragon*Con and people are upset about that. Do you know where the anti-harassment policy is at Dragon*Con? Every single person wears it. This policy is printed on the back of your badge so that you have no room to claim you were not aware. At D*C I work the Walk of Fame under some of my favorite convention Directors, we are a pretty tight knit group since none of us really leave the floor. I feel comfortable saying that not a single one of those people will ever put up with harassment should they see it. If you are at Dragon*Con and you are close to the WoF and you feel harassed, come on in and we will take care of it for you.

In regards to harassment, here is what I know from basically every convention I've ever worked though; We do not allow harassment. We do not allow pictures without consent. If someone asks you not to take their picture and you do or if you decide you want to be some kind of aggressive butt head, whether you are on our floor or in the main areas, we will pull your badge and walk you over to security. If you do not want to hand us your badge we will use our nifty walky-talkies or cell phones and follow you until security comes to us. If you choose to continue to be belligerent, we have local PD on hand and they have no problem being an escort. Conventions have no tolerance for harassment of any kind.

If you have a problem, find staff. We will do our best to take care of it.

So, my fellow geeks, let's take it upon ourselves to right the wrongs done to some of our brothers and sisters, shall we? If you see something happen turn around and say "Dude, don't be a dick, they said no." No means no. Repeat that word, it is our power word! No. No, we will not allow this. No, we will not stand for this. No, you cannot treat this person like an object because they are a person and they have feelings and they have rights. Let's remind people that we are all there because we are all fans and let's have each others backs.

Seriously guys, we can fix this.

Stevie

Seriously, Ladies, Leggings Are Not Real Pants.

Leggings are an accessory, ladies. They are something you put on in place of tights. Something to keep your legs warm in the cold, or covered when you just don't feel like shaving your legs even though you want to wear that super cute dress hanging in your closet. They are an addition to an outfit, not a part of the base. I get that West Coast and East Coast fashion rules are different, and Pacific Northwest Rules are even more strange comparatively, but let's be real here for a moment, shall we? Leggings are not jeans. Leggings are not sweatpants. Leggings are not slacks. Leggings are leggings. Leggings are basically thick tights that you wear with tunics or dresses or, if you are going for more of a casual look, long t-shirts. Most leggings, when worn as pants, have the unfortunate effect of making those near you wonder if you lost your real pants because now they can see your underwear and you have the unfortunate luck to also have a hint of camel toe. You cannot unsee camel toe.

Wearing leggings properly means your crotch area should be covered.

There are the odd ones out, those few lucky individuals, that can rock the leggings without looking like they left their home half dressed. Most people, however, do not fall in that category. Even if you are one of those people, however, you still shouldn't wear them as pants to work. It is unprofessional unless you are a personal trainer or yoga instructor. Also, it makes all those girls that know better (and don't look as cute) kind of jealous. Maybe that's just me.

On the topic of accessories, why are people layering their scarves? This is Seattle, it is not that cold out. In fact, it's still pretty warm. We've got about a week before the rainy season starts (it's our longest season) and you shouldn't need all those layers. Also, next week when the rain really starts, you are going to be a soggy mess and it will be all your own fault. I am stomping down my foot and demanding you listen when I get to tell you I told you so.

With the bulky layering around your neck and shoulders you look a little like a body builder from the armpits up and it's creepy.

I guess we are going to stick to accessories because that's what I'm fixating on, and by we I mean I. So, accessories! Since we've hit leggings and the scarf debacle, let's move on to jewelry, shall we? I get that you have all this bling you want to show off. That's great. Wearing it all at once, however, is something less than great. "But they do it in magazines!" Of course they do! They are trying to sell you as much as possible in a single page ad. Also, it can be considered artistic rather than gaudy simply because it is a photo shoot and not something any of the creative directors or models would do in real life. When you wear bracelets piled up your arms and then add rings to every finger (or even every other finger) all anyone can see is a carnival fortune teller.

It's distracting.

Less actually is more in this case. Less jewelry is more flattering. If you are going to layer a couple of necklaces don't add dangling earrings. If you are going to pile on four or five bracelets, don't wear more than one ring.

No matter how great your outfit, no matter how professional (booty shorts are not professional ... I just want to throw that out there now.) the accessories can kill the rest of the outfit. Wearing a black skirt suit with black pumps and metallic blue leggings? The leggings killed the professionalism. Simple dress, nude nylons, matching heels, 6 necklaces? Necklaces killed the outfit. It's the little things, trends that are in for casual looks that people want to use at work, that ruin an outfit. So today's rant is kind of about that, but mostly because I'm tired of seeing what everyone's underwear looks like through the leggings.

Wear what looks good on you, not what looks good on other people,

Stevie

Dear DC, Please Stop. Just Stop.

Dear DC,

Thank you, for once again trying to prove that you want to change how we all interact with one another and the world at large. Thank you for having no problem being at the forefront of this change, the face, if you will.

I hadn't realized until today, googling all your new children's apparel, how subservient women are supposed to be. I hadn't realized we were supposed to show our exemplary attitudes by remaining true to ourselves and only dating Batman or Superman or another hero. Sometimes I get ahead of myself and starting thinking, I know, terrible of me. Worse yet, sometimes I even dream of a world where their might be sexual and gender equality. Silly, of me. I needed you to point it out to me.

I understand now that things like this are why men of a younger generation, boys really, might get the idea that I and other women like me are "fake geeks". After all, we want to be our own heroes. We want to see stronger female roles, but it's actually all about the men. No, it's actually all about the straight, male heroes who we are supposed to want to save us from whatever demon of the moment is plaguing our gentle beings.

So, thanks for setting those records straight and reminding all the little girls that they aren't supposed to want to be Wonder Woman or Batgirl, they are just supposed to want to marry Batman or at least date another hero. The boys are supposed to become the heroes, get the girl, and score whenever possible. I appreciate all that you are doing for these new generations while we try to move forward with the times.

Sincerely,

Stevie

Problem the first: Score? Really!?

Problem the second: Batgirl's uniform is Black and Yellow, not Pink.

Problem the third: Why can't they have options like this for both sexes?

THAT, for all of you now wondering if I have lost my mind, was sarcasm. It was also a lot of edits, but that is because I can be incredibly mean when I am angry, and trust me, I am angry. I am trying not to be mean, though, because you know what? Some people probably walked right on by those pajama's and those kids shirts, and all they thought was "Hey, that's pretty cute." and you know what? They are. Well, maybe not the "Score" one. That one is just irksome to a rather scary degree.

The decline of DC has been going on for a while and it's sad, because they have such amazingly complex and interesting characters, but they can't seem to let go of their sexist commentary, both in and out of the comics, long enough to save their once beautiful empire. Wonder Woman was my hero. I know people who grew up looking to Batman, to Superman, to Green Lantern, to The Flash. Now where do they turn? Marvel. They turn their kids to Marvel as well. Do you know why? Because Marvel doesn't feel the need to tell little girls their only worth is to marry or sleep with a super hero. Because Marvel has options for both girls and boys to be heroes, to be sidekicks, to be whatever they want. I'm not saying they get it right all the time, but they are doing a pretty good job of it.

DC, however, seems to want to place girls in one of three categories: Homemaker, Sexpot, or Lesbian. That's all we get to be. Even the female heroes and villains have to be placed in those three. "Uh oh, Wonder Woman was a bit too wonderful, let's give her to Superman, he is strong enough to control her like she ought to be." It hurts (and amuses) me to say things like this because I adored Wonder Woman growing up, her early comics were amazing. You know, before that halfway mark in the 20th century meant they needed to rewrite her and make her every action and thought about Steve Trevor. The American woman needed to be twice as subservient after WWII because they'd gone and gotten jobs to provide for their families while their men-folk were off fighting a war. Heaven forbid those men come home and find a capable woman who figured out how to take care of things so he wouldn't have to worry about it while he was gone. Better let him think nothing worked at all! I know their were men out there who were proud of how strong their women were, why couldn't the media take that stance?

That is a completely different topic, though. Moving on!

Why the heck do the DC marketing and apparel departments think every girl wants to wear a pink version of a hero uniform? Batgirl doesn't need to be pink. Her Uniform is black with canary yellow accents. Simple, pretty, neutral. Wonder Woman is red, white, and blue with gold accents (or silver, depending on the artist.) Super Girl is the same colors as Superman, no need to change it! Just sell matching skirts! Hawk Girl is green and yellow, plus you could print wings on the back! Black Canary wears solid black, easy! Wonder Girl is, well, Donna Troy is black and silver, Cassie Sandsmark wears Jeans and a tank top. A TANK TOP! How hard is it to sell a copy of that tank top to little girls? I mean, if we are going to go New 52 it would be the red cropped shirt, so make the shirt and just don't crop it. Done. Simple solution. Why say "no, better make it pink. No girl wants to wear red and gold."? I was not a little girl that wanted to wear pink all the time. I wanted to be Cat Woman, actually, so I went through a stage of black turtle necks and black leggings with black boots when I was about nine years old. Mom wouldn't get me a whip, though, She was pretty sure I'd use it on one of my brothers. She was a pretty smart lady.

There are so many female heroes out there, we need to have more options for girls. We also need to have T-shirts in blue that say "Super-Husband in training" and let little boys know they are allowed to dream of growing up to be Wonder Woman's or Batman's spouse if that is what they want. We need options! Don't cater to a select few in an attempt to propagate a stale ideal that the rest of the world is trying to overcome. Girls are geeks, too. We want to be super heroes just as much as the boys.

I should probably stop ranting now and get back to work, Stevie