Friday, May 31, 2013

Only really good Drag Queens can pull off micro-mini skirts without looking completely trashy.

Asassins Creed 3 for the Pear Shape


I would like to say for the record that I wish I had an ass and hips. It makes me so stinking jealous when I see girls rocking a pencil skirt. I can't pull them off. I look dumpy and sad when I make the attempt so I've mostly given up. Mostly ...

A good work blazer should stop just above the swell of your hips to help the eye focus on a narrower waist and to keep it from wrinkling weird because you half sat on it at your desk. The skirt should come to just under or just over the knee (shorter legs should stick to a hemline just obove the knee.) The way the skirt hugs the hips and then tucks in and flares helps make you look curvy and still hides thicker thighs. Boots should never come over the knees, that shortens your leg, however when it comes to below the knee with a skirt that comes to just above, your legs look longer. If your jacket doesn't have a collar neither should your shirt. Put a belt over a looser shirt to tuck in your waist and help give you that hourglass shape.

Assassins Creed 3 for the "Y" Shape


I love a good jacket, but a lot of them seem to highlight my extreme lack of hips. You can play that off with a flared skirt though. With a strong skirt remember not to go overboard with an in-your-face top though. Go with a simple boatneck to show off the wide shoulders and heels to make your legs look long.

This particular jacket is something I would LOVE to be able to pull off, sadly I'm uber-busty so it's not going to jive. I do have an awesome leather jacket with faux-frogging down the front like this though, it's got the princess seams to keep it nice and flattering. Remember, just because we have the same base shapes doesn't mean we can all look good in the same things. We need to accept these things (even if we really love those pencil skirts...) and move on.

Getting stuck on the things you want to wear can stop you from finding things that you can wear. Keep an open mind and remember to try things on at the store. Chances are if you have any kind of a figure at all you wont look good in something that looks amazing on a hanger. Hangers show off clothing meant for stick figures and children, not for real women. Don't let it get you down if you try it on and it doesn't look as good as you'd hoped. Move on to a new style that you've never tried before, you might be pleasantly surprised! You also might be completely horrified and not sure if you should gag or giggle, but that's why you go shopping with girlfriends. You show them and they make the decision on just how terribad that article of clothing really is.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

If it looks amazing hanging dead on the hanger then it's probably meant for a stick figure.

Captain Mal inspiration set for "Y" shapes


Skinny jeans are always perfect when you want to wear knee high boots. Those of us without hips need to stick to the pants with the higher waistbands when it comes to skinny jeans, that way the pants don't fall down and they don't give you muffin top. Wearing a sheer over sized shirt can be flattering on the right body type, those of us with wider shoulders pull it off well so long as we have cami's underneath, nothing with a wide band because it will make your shoulders look wider. Careful with back pockets as well, if they are huge they just make it more noticeable that you don't have much of a butt.

Make sure all coats have a princess seam! I cannot stress this enough, especially with winter coats. Heavy coats can look heavy and make YOU look shapeless, but they don't have to.

Captain Mal Inspiration for "Pear" Shape


I like to carry over certain aspects of an outfit when it's the same inspiration character. Some things are a bit harder to do though. Like pants. If you're gonna go skinny jeans on a Pear shape you need to make sure A- your waist band is high enough. 2 finger widths below the belly button ladies, not half a hair over the pelvis. You want to make sure it's not to snug over the butt or you'll have a split seam. B- it actually fits your hips and thighs. You have to try things on ladies! Skinny jeans can work for a pear shape so long as they are wearing high boots. Mid-calf to knee high can be very flattering. Belts are your friend, they make the waistband not roll.

I paired the pants with a loose V-neck button up, neatly cinched at the waist to give definition and make dainty shoulders a touch broader. Pair it with a Cami for modesty (especially in the workplace.) The bright color helps draw attention up to your face and the overall effect makes you look a bit more hourglass.

When looking for a winter coat remember that seams are your friend! If a longer coat looks like it has a bit of a skirt thing going on? That means it's going to fall around your hips in a flattering way and keep you looking slender. Princess seams are your friends!