Now, that is just the things that I put together for her on Sunday. She already had her pre-approved pant suits and the common outfits that I'd put together for her before then. Admittedly I've had a hand in her closet for many years now, since I was a pre-teen actually, so it's no surprise that she's got so much to work with. It amazes me when she tells me she doesn't understand how I put together clothes that make her look thinner, stronger, more confident - especially as this is the woman that raised me to be strong willed and to think for myself. She's not exactly a meek miss. In fact sometimes I forget basic facts about her personality because she seems so incredibly tough, like nothing should faze her. Again, I am her daughter, so I guess I just get to look at her in a different light.
My mom HATES shopping. No, I shouldn't say that. She doesn't mind it when she is shopping for others. It's more that she hates shopping for herself (especially with me in tow) because she has to try things on in a public dressing room. Where people might see her. Where the tiny rooms have walls that want to close in on her (I am so glad I am not claustrophobic.) It's usually not so bad in the beginning, when everything is shiny and new and I haven't worn her out with a hike through every single store in the mall. I'm making this seem terrible, I know, but I guess that's just who we are. That and we get distracted by pretty much anything that looks like it could be vaguely interesting. It's what we affectionately call Attention Deficit - Ooh, Shiny! (ADOS) in my family. To get back on topic, Do you know why Mom still goes with me on these treks? It's because despite disliking trying things on, despite the itty bitty changing rooms, despite all the pretty things not meant for a petite woman blessed with actual boobs - there are treasures still to be found.
You have to do the work if you want to look good. For most of us out here in what I like to call the real world, we can't just toss on the first five things we see in a store and look amazing in all of them. There are color palettes, there are cuts, seams, and jeans with giant pockets that make you look like you have a pancake ass. Well, they make me look like I have a pancake ass ... You have to try things on to see if they fit and at the store is the best place to do it. It's fairly standard thinking that you will likely never love an item of clothing as much as you do when you first see it at the store. Hanging up on the ugly plastic hanger with that shiny price tag dangling like a little paper temptress, it's magical how even ugly prints suddenly look intriguing to the eye. Again, it's why you have to try things on. Once the allure of "I will be the first to touch it!" has dissipated, you can (hopefully) be a bit more honest with yourself in regards to what it really looks like once you've put it on.
Your first reaction will probably be the most accurate reaction you have. If it's a sudden "oh, god, no!" take it back off. Don't go out to the tri-fold mirror, do not try to see yourself from every angle, and for all that is holy, do not think "well ... I guess it could work" just because you don't want to go find something else! Once you get that item home it will live in the back of your closet and plot your destruction, it will try to start a cult for fellow closet rejects to join so that it can lead them to your doom! Just leave it behind, it's so much safer than letting it destroy the friendship that once blossomed between that zebra striped cocktail dress and your Doctor Who t-shirt. Trust me, I speak from experience.
So, if you don't love it, leave it hanging neatly on the fitting room attendants clothing rack - I hate the assholes that leave all the clothes on the floor for those poor women to pick up. I've worked retail, people can be dicks. Now, if you do love it, keep it! If you kind of like it, hold on to it while you go back out and look for something that you might like better. I try to keep a score in my head, 1 through 5. If it's a 4 or 5 keep it! If it's a 1 or a 2, leave it! If it's a 3, you obviously don't dislike it, but since you don't like it either I find this to be the worst score of the entire scale. It means this item is forgettable, it means that it is so blah to you that it has no redeeming qualities. Run away. No good can come of the faceless thing that stalks the store.
You can find the most amazing things, you just have to remember to try it on. Try it all on! Take everything in your size off the clearance rack that you don't immediately hate, and go to town. Seriously, it could be the best learning exercise anyone ever gives you.
Dude! Wanna come help me out? :D
ReplyDeleteSo you are a MORON as well as a DEVIANT. LOL My response to you got deleted on Firefly's page so here it is!!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, Stevie, the use of capitals in the written word has nothing to do with “logic.” Please explain to me how my capitals were “illogical.” You can’t? I didn’t think so. Capital letters are used in the written word for EMPHASIS. Do you understand this, Stevie? Now I am going to show you a scenario to help you to understand how ONE SENTENCE can negate an ENTIRE article, Stevie. An author writes an article all about African Americans with the goal of showing that they are as good as their Caucasian counterparts and can achieve as much. The author then decides to also add the comment: “There will always be things that Caucasians can do better than African Americans. This is a fact of life.” This ONE sentence COMPLTELY NEGATES the ENTIRE argument that African Americans can achieve as much as Caucasians. This is the SAME concept in this situation, Stevie. Do you get it? Calling me a “radical feminist” because I point out the massive contradiction in this blog is ludicrous - although VERY typical behavior coming from a male- as were your descriptions of my “rage” and lack of “logic.” In actuality it is YOU who are expressing rage and a lack of logic by your moronic response to my very valid observation. And my statement about this article being like the “others” is also very valid. As the author of this article herself stated there is an enormous lack of appropriate articles geared towards women in carpentry and when there are articles they are usually ridiculous. This article was GREAT until the questionable sentence came up at it is at this point that it gets lumped in with the rest. The same way an African American would lump an article as described in the aforementioned scenario along with the rest of the articles that really were not doing a service to African Americans. Although there is a lot of good information in this article, there are some women who could walk away from reading this article with the idea that they can achieve BUT there are just some things that men will do better. This is not okay message to be sending out to girls. So my advice to you, Stevie, is to shut your pie-hole, and take some college courses to increase your intellect because it is DESPERATELY LACKING.