Yes, this is supposed to be a sneaky-geeky fashion blog (that gets far fewer viewers than a blogger might wish) but as it is mine, as evidenced by my name in the title, I think it gives me a little leeway to simply spout my thoughts on occasion when things really strike me as odd. Also, I am contemplating making this blog just for my random word spouts and then reposting my fashion/inspiration sets on a new blog that I have been wanting to make and advertise as being for "women who want to wear their geek to work" or something. I dunno, still working it.
SO! The random thoughts kicking through my head at the moment - Candy Is Dirty. No joke, of course it could just be my brain. It seems to be hardwired to the naughty setting, it can be very distracting at times as I am a visual thinker. I think in pictures, those pictures tend to be incredibly detailed. Admittedly, that's nice on occasion.
So Halloween was a couple of weeks ago and I don't have kids, am not sure if I want kids or not, and tend to hit up Halloween parties so that I don't have to give out candy to other peoples' kids. However, just about everyone at work is the opposite. So I get to work after Halloween and I am handed bags of candy to stick in a candy bowl for truck drivers coming into my office and whoever else may need a quick sugar rush.
It probably wouldn't have been so bad except that we were also discussing childhood television programming (because I was wearing my ridiculously awesome Care Bear socks!) and the messages those can send to children. In my brain, when you mix Care Bears and Candy I burn the brain to mouth filter and simply let out all my thoughts on the topics at hand. It started out with the Skittles dilemma.
I don't eat Skittles, I've just never liked how they feel when they stick to your teeth as you chew them, I found it disgusting as a child. As an adult (and when I was a teen) I couldn't eat them because of their slogan. Taste the rainbow! To this day, all I can think about is gay porn. Let's touch back on that whole visual thinker comment from a few paragraphs back, shall we? Full color, incredibly detailed pictures all in my head, running through and making me laugh and gag and wish I were a gay man all at once. Yeah, you taste that rainbow.
Let's move on, shall we? Tootsie pops are also blatantly dirty - How many licks does it take to get to that center? Of course then the owl bites and I giggle because I picture a man howling in pain and for some reason that just amuses the shit out of me. That should be a Cards Against Humanity option "That Tootsie Pop Owl trying to give you head and biting down halfway through" or something equally uncomfortable that you have to play when a guy is the judge because it's fun to watch them squirm.
The list goes on, though. M&M's - they melt in your mouth, not your hand. Those awesome Cherry Gummies? Totally look like testicles. Reeses! There is no wrong way to eat a Reeses. Then they show that it gets nibbled around the outside before the center is devoured. How is that not considered raunchy? I just want to grab most of my ex-boyfriends and go "See?! Right there! Just do it that way." I mean, I could go on forever.
To be fair, I do realize that even 20 years ago these things might not have seemed quite so obviously sexual in nature, but as rampant (hah) as sexual innuendo is these days, and how easy it is to make things sound dirty? They are really just making it easier for us. So that's my random post and this is me saying that it's okay to be dirty, just try not to encourage kids to be dirty as well.
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